firejem325x (firejem325x) wrote,

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Day 2!

Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail.

It happened like this. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of something. Something wonderful. Chiseled features. Brilliant, bright, vivid and dazzling. I had never seen anything like this ever before. I was fascinated. The silhouette was tinier than I expected but amazing no less. Firm and sturdy in all the right areas and sleek above it all. Perfection. I know it was silly and that "perfection" doesn't exist. I of all people should know this but I couldn't help but cast the illusion on the piece of heaven I had just found. If it wasn't "love" I didn't know what "it" was.

If you care to read anymore of that gobbledy gook I imagine I could indulge you but I just spent those 5 lines describing my infatuation with my mp3 player. Or a pop tart box. And yes I do realize I probably have an unhealthy obsession with my electronic devices. What can I say? I love my portable music ^_^

As far as describing my "first love" in GREAT detail (probably should have read this meme a lil more carefully lol) I really don't have anything to offer. Some people might think I'm wussing out of today's entry or simply don't want to approach the subject but really...I have nothing to tell.

In fact, in this past year I really started to question what "love" is. Honestly, I'm not really sure. Much less go into detail over a "first love". The one thing I can confidently say is that I don't think I understand any of this. Considering what the past 2 years of my life were like and how I miraculously was able to make it out to speak...I find it remarkable that I'd even speak of love. I've never been in a relationship. I've been fighting a hard battle just to secure a place in my own family. Can't say that really inspires me to go search out a "new love" "first love" whatever. What a mess that would be. And considering what my former "faux 'family'-turned-'complete-strangers'" did to me and the perversion of love in that situation...Really I can only tell you what love ISN'T. That was a hard lesson to learn.

Love isn't selfish. Love isn't cruel. It is not quick to accuse nor ready to abandon you. Love doesn't lie. Love doesn't make false assumptions nor listen to those who do. Love is not fickle. Love brings no harm with it.

As far as a first love goes, I've heard first loves never work. They're more or less the "training love". You learn your many mistakes during the heartbreak of your first love and move on to deeper relationships thanks to the mistakes of your first. For most this happens in their teen years and I guess this is best. For the most part everyone thinks their first bf/gf is going to be theirs forever and never think the relationship wouldn't last. People go to extremes to fix the doomed relationship because they don't know it was fractured from the beginning due to misconceptions of what a relationship should be. But later on when they've matured and (in happier cases) have found the person they should be with (and are WORKING thru the problems that would end an amateur lover...usually small and stupid quirks) and looking back on the dysfunctional relationship...they can usually move on and be content with the lessons they learned from the tormented past. And I guess even laugh about it one day. But once again, what do I know? lol But yeah...I suppose that's what a first love is like.
Serendipitous beginning. Intense exciting infatuation. Huh...that's weird, guess I'll just ignore it for now. OHMYGOSH! Heart wrenching breakup and rivers of tears. Years later..."That was kinda a sweet story. But mainly I was an idiot". FIRST LOVE RECOLLECTIONS

Guess that's why they're called "First Loves" and not "First, Only and Always Loves. The End" =P

Unless your first love actually did work out (all .02% of you) and your married with 17 grand kids for which DON'T TELL ME! You'll totally ruin my thesis here =P

For further relationship advice see ice1cube. He pretty much backs me up and it's through him that I learned alllll about girl/guy relations =P lol
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